PRESS RELEASE
Special Attention: BreakDrink.com
For Release: April 1, 2010
Representatives from the higher education daily news magazine The Cronk of Higher Education (a.k.a. CronkNews) have announced that they have changed their format from satire to serious news reporting.
“After attending two national conferences for student affairs professionals recently, we realized we needed to be more respectful of the hard working people at colleges,” said CronkNews editor-in-chief Leah Wescott. “There are thousands of faculty and staff trying to uphold the highest standards of our field, and they deserve nothing but our respect.”
Popular CronkNews reporter Irma Voigt agreed. “We had our fun, but most people didn’t get our humor or their feelings were hurt. We need to tone it down and be more polite. The last thing we ever wanted to do was challenge people to question the assumptions at the root of our values. We should have recognized how negative our mission was when we included the term critical thinking. We should have known better than to be so mean.”
“We had a staff meeting recently and realized we all felt the same way,” said Wescott. “We feel like being funny isn’t productive among smart, sophisticated educators. People want staight, wholesome humor like Jeff Dunham, not snobby know-it-alls like Jon Stewart. We’ll be more comfortable in our new niche, and higher education will be a kinder, gentler place again.”
“I’m looking forward to writing in the new format,” said usually-droll reporter Brody Truce. “I’m working on a story about a terrific team of peer educators helping to wipe out underage drinking. Their enthusiasm is inspiring, and makes me feel guilty that I ever had a sense of humor.”
